Romance Scams and the People Who Target Lonely Adults

By the WinDailyGames Editorial Team

You meet someone on a dating site, a social media platform, or even a game or messaging app. They're warm, attentive, and interested in your life. Over weeks or months, the relationship deepens. Then, eventually, comes a problem they can't solve without money — a medical emergency, a stranded trip, a customs fee, a business deal that will pay off soon. They ask you to help.

It's a scam. The person on the other end built the relationship for exactly this moment. Romance scammers are not lonely people who got carried away; they are working a deliberate, patient con, often running several "relationships" at once from scripts.

Romance scams cause some of the largest financial losses of any consumer scam reported to the Federal Trade Commission, and they fall especially hard on adults over sixty — not because older adults are foolish, but because they are more likely to be widowed, divorced, or living alone, and scammers deliberately seek out people who are looking for connection. The harm is financial and emotional at once, and both deserve to be taken seriously.

How the scam works

The scammer creates an attractive, sympathetic profile — often using photos stolen from someone else, frequently posing as a professional working far from home: a soldier deployed overseas, an engineer on an offshore oil rig, a doctor with an international aid group, a businessman traveling abroad. These roles explain in advance why the person can never meet in person and why their schedule and story are hard to verify.

Contact usually moves quickly off the dating site or platform and onto private texting or email, where there's no oversight. The early weeks are about building trust and affection. The scammer is attentive in a way that can feel like everything you've been missing — long daily messages, talk of a future together, declarations of love far sooner than a real relationship would move. This stage may last weeks or months, with no request for money at all. The investment of time is what makes the eventual ask so effective.

Then a crisis appears. There's a pattern to the asks:

• A medical emergency — for them or a family member — needs to be paid immediately
• They've finally arranged to come visit you, but a flight, a visa, or a travel fee falls through at the last minute
• A lucrative business deal or investment needs a short-term loan, with a promise to pay you back many times over
• Their money is "frozen" or "stuck" overseas and they need help to release it
• A package or inheritance is held up in customs and requires a fee

The payment is always by a method that's hard to trace or reverse: a wire transfer, gift cards, a money-transfer app, cryptocurrency, or reloadable cards. If you pay once, the crises keep coming. Some victims are slowly drawn into the scheme themselves — asked to receive and forward money or packages, which can unknowingly make them part of a money-laundering operation.

A particularly painful newer variation pairs romance with a fake investment, often in cryptocurrency: the "partner" coaches you into putting money on a phony trading platform that shows fake gains until you try to withdraw.

Red flags to watch for

The person always has a reason they can't meet in person or appear on a live video call. Deployments, remote work sites, and constant travel that conveniently prevent any face-to-face contact are a core feature of the con.

Things move very fast emotionally. Declarations of love within days or weeks, talk of marriage with someone you've never met, and intense daily attention are tools to build trust quickly so the request for money lands on solid ground.

Sooner or later, money comes up — and the request always involves a payment method that can't be undone: wire transfer, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or money-transfer apps. A genuine partner does not court you online and then ask you to send gift cards.

The story has small inconsistencies, the photos look too polished or like stock images, and the person resists anything that would confirm their identity. If you suggest a video call and it's always declined or sabotaged, treat that as the answer.

What to do if someone online starts asking for money

Stop, and recognize the request for what it is. The moment an online-only romantic interest asks you for money — for any reason, in any amount — the relationship has reached the point the scammer was working toward.

Don't send money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency, and don't share your bank or card details. Don't agree to receive or forward money or packages on someone's behalf.

Try to confirm who you're really talking to. Suggest a live video call; a scammer will refuse or stall. You can also do a reverse image search on their profile photos — if the same picture turns up under different names, you have your answer. Be cautious about how much personal and financial detail you've shared.

Talk to someone you trust before you act. Romance scammers work to isolate their targets and may warn you that friends or family "won't understand" the relationship. That pressure to keep the relationship secret is itself a warning sign. A trusted friend, an adult child, or a counselor can offer the outside perspective the scammer is trying to keep you from.

What to do if you've already sent money

First, set the shame aside. You were targeted by someone who does this for a living and who deliberately built a relationship to exploit your trust and care. Being deceived by that is not a character flaw, and the sooner you act, the better.

Stop all contact with the person. Don't send another cent "to recover" what you've already lost — a common follow-on scam involves someone who claims they can get your money back for a fee. They cannot.

Save the evidence before you delete anything: profile pages, messages, photos, email addresses, phone numbers, and any payment receipts or transfer details. This record helps investigators and supports any disputes.

Contact your bank, your card issuer, or the payment service you used right away and report the transfers as fraud. Speed gives the best chance of recovering or stopping a payment that hasn't completed.

Report the scam to the Federal Trade Commission at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, and report the profile to the dating site or platform where you met so they can take it down and protect others. If you live in the United States and the loss was significant, you can also file with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov.

Consider talking to a counselor or a support group. The financial loss is real, but so is the grief of losing a relationship you believed in. Both are worth tending to, and neither is anything to be ashamed of.

Where to learn more

The Federal Trade Commission's guidance on romance scams: consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-you-need-know-about-romance-scams

AARP's Fraud Watch Network has a helpline and resources for romance-scam victims: 1-877-908-3360

To report: ReportFraud.ftc.gov and, in the U.S., the FBI's ic3.gov

A pattern, not just a heartbreak

The romance scam runs on a longer timeline than a threatening phone call, but the shape is the same: a stranger earns your trust under false pretenses, manufactures a crisis, and steers you toward a payment you can't take back. Where the government-impersonation scams use fear, the romance scam uses affection — but in both, the request for an irreversible payment from someone you can't verify is the moment the mask should drop.

The defense is the same patience the scammer counts on you not having. Slow down when money enters the picture. Confirm who you're really talking to. Bring in someone you trust before you send anything. The pause is the win — here just as much as on any scam call.